Clem's Turn to Move

Clem was moved to a ward yesterday. We knew this was a possibility but thought we'd have more than a few hours notice! This is one step closer to home, and a great sign of our medical team's confidence in his improving condition. But we're still a bit shocked to be suddenly leaving the strangely familiar comfort zone bubble of the NICU, and getting our heads around what our new daily rhythm will look like. 

In NICU there wasn't space for a parent to sleep bedside. We were allowed to be there at anytime, but encouraged to take care of ourselves, go back to our accommodation and get whatever sleep, albeit fitful, we could. I thank those who encouraged this as we couldn't have survived 68 days in NICU otherwise. At first it was truly heartbreaking to leave him each night, and I cried many tears walking away. I can't say it ever became easy, but we did start to build trust that his caregivers would either call us or care for him themselves when possible if he needed cuddles during the night. All choices given, I wouldn't have opted to have strangers look after my newborn each night for the first 10 weeks of his life. But with Clem's condition we didn't have many choices at all, so given the circumstances, it was lovely to return to a nurse holding, rocking, reading him a book. 

Usually, we were told, babies released from the Grace NICU have one or two nights of 'rooming in' for parents to get confident with the care of their child before heading home. This is what we had prepared ourselves and Lena for. 

Life on the wards feels like we've unexpectedly landed on a different planet. Not only is there a space for a parent to stay, there's the expectation that a parent will be there all the time. Mike and I are both really looking forward to more time with Clem, but it will be a big upheaval and adjustment for us, especially Lena. Things are generally a bit less restricted on the wards, but we still need to figure out how things will work for visitors, and also gate passes for Clem to maybe get to go on some walks. 

Mike is spending the first night there tonight. He's pulled out the odd little single sofa bed amid beeps and pings, hourly nurse visits, toilets down the hall, all in a shared room with all the other beeps, pings and visits just on the other side of the curtain. 

It's my turn to stay tomorrow night. I'm so looking forward to finally having some more connection with my boy. I'm also aware that it will be a difficult separation for Lena. I know any parent of more than one child will feel torn at times but parenting both under the same roof has to be slightly easier on everyone. Lena is showing the strain, and keeps trying to re-negotiate and suggest ways we could all stay together. Her latest plan is that if she gets sick, she will be admitted and can have the bed beside Clem and we will have a family room. I think the only one getting much sleep tonight is Clem!

 

He recently reached the milestone of getting more than half his nutrition from breastmilk. The IV feeding (TPN) is being slowly reduced as his milk feeds are increased, and if things keep going well, he will finally be a fully breastmilk-fed baby by the weekend. This is all still via tube to the lower part of his intestines, below the new surgical join. 

The next step is to start trickling tube feeds to his stomach. After not having been used, it may take a while for the stomach to come online, so this will be a very gradual process. If that works we move on to larger stomach tube feeds, then measured oral feeds, and then finally feeds at the breast. So we've still got a ways to go before we're home. 

We have finally got the go ahead to start 'dry' breastfeeds again post surgery. Just one a day for a limited session at the moment, but once he remembers what to do again, i think it will help settle him and start preparing for life at home. 

Lena has been enjoying regular visits from her Grandma, but might now enjoy some more adventures and visits from playmates again soon?